Locked Doors and Gush Katif

I get no exercise at all here. The most I ever get is running up 4 flights of stairs to my apt, and even then I usually stop at the third floor and hang out at one of the girls’ apartments, and eat whatever they have out, thus negating any positive gain from the “workout.” Yesterday, however, I went bike riding with Adam, or tried to.

We agreed to meet by the Ramat Ilan snail (a large concrete sculpture of a snail next to the playground. It has no artistic value whatsoever, it’s just a snail. Everyone just seems to accept it, nobody asks any questions. Why is the snail there? Who put it there? Nobody cares.). When we got there, we both realized that we both had flats, so Adam ran to get his pump. My front tire was so flat that when I leaned on it a little, I could press it totally against the ground, and feel the metal frame pressing, through the tire, against the ground. I may as well have wrapped the spokes in rubber bands and rode off in that.

After Adam got back and we filled our tires, I ran back with the pump to put it back in Moshe’s apartment. To make a long story short, I accidentally went to the wrong apartment, put the key to Moshe’s apartment in that lock, and it wouldn’t come out. I knocked on the door and explained, embarrassingly, what had happened. The girls who lived there were surprisingly ok with a strange man getting a key stuck in their door, but were just on their way out to go to a birthday party. So me and Adam had to wait in their apartment (interesting how they trusted us) until the locksmith arrived (an hour later, and when he got there he just clamped down on the key with pliers and yanked it out in about half a second, and charged me 150 shek. That’s about a million shek an hour. I want to be a locksmith when I grow up.).

Shmuly arrived today at 5am. Seems like everybody in my apartment is (are?) surprisingly heavy sleepers. It appears that it’s possible for somebody to bang on the door and ring the doorbell for over an hour and nobody will wake up, though Ari did have a dream about somebody ringing the doorbell.

Today is a fast day for Gush Katif. I’m not sure how I feel about that, but I told Rutgers that as a form of compromise, I’m not going to have any carbs, so I made an omelet this morning. First I put a bit of olive oil in the pan and put it on the fire. Then I started cracking eggs, and cutting up the tomatoes and onions. Shortly thereafter the pan started smoldering and spewing hot globlets of boiling oil in every direction, and the kitchen filled up with smoke. Hot globlets of oil hurt! So, I think I was supposed to do all the prep stuff before I put the pan on the fire. You’ve heard of terrible cooks who burn toast, and we’ve all made fun of people by saying they could burn water, but I actually managed to burn nothing. I’m that pathetic. And I ruined my no carbs pledge when I forgot that orange juice has carbs. Mmm… schut.



8 thoughts on “Locked Doors and Gush Katif

  1. Am i actually friends with you?
    Do ever wonder whether G-d is punishing you for something? Maybe he just likes a laugh.
    So about the exercising..keep up with the bike riding, it is good for you. You can do that while we (adina X2)speed walk.

  2. Keep up the bike ridding. It’ll do you good. And also, stick with making cholent and pizza sandwiches and screw atkins. He died from his own diet anyways

  3. I hate to say it- BUT you sound pathetic! Dont you have anything better to do with your time? You can start by learning how to cook before you end up burning your whole apartment!!!Oh and maybe go get your brain checked out since it is quite sad that you cant even remember where your friend lives,atleast it will avoid future stalkings on your behalf coz you never know what the next chick will do to you,you got lucky this time she didnt press charges…;)

  4. Ps: Keep up the bike riding,it will do you some good not be stuck between your 4 walls anymore and I think that TV has given up on you…there’s nothing on anyway!

  5. I would like to say that I was also deeply concerned about the giant snail when I lived there. No one even uses it for directions. I would say “he lives in the building with the snail” or “turn left at the giant snail” It appears all of Ramat Ilan just takes the giant stone snail completely for granted without a second thought. here’s a shoutout to the Giant Stone Snail.

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